I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
