Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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