the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
