is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
