I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
