are you so shy because you have an std?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
