For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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