I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
