This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
