Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
