the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
