I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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