We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
