I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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