Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i think my cat just said my name.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
