when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
3pm strippers are depressing
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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