yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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