Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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