is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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