Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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