Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
