It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
