ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
