Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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