Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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