Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
