ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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