Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
