we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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