So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
