did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
