I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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