I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
