Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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