I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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