Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
