I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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