You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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