So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
