I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize