I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
