You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize