Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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