i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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