found the other keg... it's in the tree
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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