hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
