every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
