im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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