What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
