Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
