Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize