i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
