Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
