end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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