In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
