don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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